Its November, and in case you haven’t been keeping up to date with the reality show known as “The 2016 Presidential Election,” don’t start. Stay in your serendipitous blissful state, and grab a beer, and drink for the ones of us who have been. For the rest of us, I’ve compiled a list of three heavy hitting beers (9%+ ABV) that can help us cope with these next few pivotal weeks. So, time to grab life by the bottle opener and crack one of these scandalous beers open.
The first one is the aptly named “Nightmare Fuel.” Brewed by local favorite River North. This beer is as seasonal as PSL’s, as strong (13.5% ABV) as the “Mountain”, and as smooth as Bill’s sweet sax skills. This is an imperial stout brewed with whole bean coffee, meaning that you’ll be ready to rock and roll or lament as soon as the final ballots are counted. This beer pours dark black, like the black hole of a “locker room” that Trump keeps mentioning. It smells of fresh coffee, caramel, dark fruits, and bourbon. The taste is of strong coffee mixed with dark chocolate, wine, and cherry. The surprisingly high ABV content is masked by a smooth mouth feel and a pleasantly sweet aftertaste of dark fruit. Unlike your political views, this beer is best shared with friends due to its strength and Trump like overbearing nature. This is my top rec for the upcoming debacles.
The second one is an IPA known as the “E3” from Renegade Brewing here in Denver.
This beer is a hop forward (100+ IBU’s), beast of a beer that would make Putin its proverbial puppet. The beer pours blonder than Donald’s hair, with a floral aroma that is comparable to that of grapefruits, lemongrass, sadness, and sweet pears. The IBUs are masked by a surprisingly strong and sweet malty backbone that counteracts the bitterness of the plethora of hops used. The taste is of grapefruit, caramel, the effervescent “booze” adjective, and sweet pine. It is an excellent tasting IPA, that comes with a few secrets of its own. This mild tasty beer actually packs a whooping 11% ABV, making it easily drinkable but also dangerous. If you have too many you might end up sending some emails that are better left unsaid…
The final beer is a Johnson style odd ball from local brewing company, Crazy Mountain. Called “Lawyers, Guns, and Money,” this barley wine style ale comes in guns a blazing with a 10% ABV would knock the encryption off any email chain. The beer pours a beautiful dark gold color with aromas of apple cider, nutmeg, peaches, brown sugar, and citrus. The taste starts with beadlike qualities and candied sugar which eventually fade to pine and caramel. This is a rare beer for its type. Typically sold in bombers these bad boys come in a 4 pack, so prayers do come true it appears, and you won’t need guns or money to get your hands on this commonly found four pack!
No matter if you are stuck avoiding this election cycle, or participating in our beautiful election cycle, these three beers will help you cope with the crazy storm going on around us. To top this all off each of the beers reviewed above can be found in local liquor stores and tap rooms. Ensuring that weather you’re celebrating or lamenting the results of the election you will have a companion that will help you weather this storm.